तेरी कहानी, तेरी ज़ुनाबी !! 

 

माना कि राहोँ में काँटें हैं तेरे ,

पर तूने रूकना सीखा ना कभी । 

माना कि सवेरे धुँधले हैं तेरे ,

पर तूने थमना सीखा ना कभी ॥ 
 

                               आसान राहें चुनी कब हैं तूने,

                                ये ज़िद्दी सवेरे तेरे । 

                                खुद से किये वादों के, वो ढृढ़ इरादों के,

                                दिल में बसेरे तेरे ॥ 

जो  बातें तेरी कह ना पाई ज़ुबाँ कभी,

वो आँखें तेरी कर देंगी बयान । 

जो गम हंसी में छुपा लिए हैं तूने कहीं ,

वो तेरी खामोशियों में गूँजेंगे सदा ॥ 

                                 रोके ना रुकेगा कभी तू,

                                 रख खुद पे यक़ीन तू इतना । 

                                 तेरी कहानी, तेरी ज़ुबानी,

                                 इक दिन सुनेगा ये सारा जहाँ ॥  

सुलझी हुई जुल्झी सी ज़िन्दगी.....

सुलझे धागों में उलझी सी ज़िन्दगी

कभी गिरती कभी संभालती |

थोड़ा सा बेकाबू दिल

कभी समदिल कभी बुज़दिल

        झुकाने से भी झुकता नही

        गिराने से भी गिरता नही

        उम्मीदों से है ये भरा हुआ

        फिर क्यों है ये खुद से डरा हुआ

नई नई सज़ाएं क्यों है ये खुद को देता

ज़िद है जब हँसने की तो फिर क्यों है ये रोता

रुकना थामना है इसने न कभी सीखा 

फिर क्यों ये आगे बढ़ने से डरता

       ज़िद है की अँधेरे को चीर कर फिर वापस रौशनी लाएंगे

       खो गयी है जो हँसी उसे फिर जगाएंगे

       फिर क्यों ये गम से ज्यादा ख़ुशियों से डरता

       अँधेरे घर में क्यों ये चिराग जलाने से डरता

Why the caged bird sings !!

It was a beautiful day. The sun had completed its tour for the day and moon has begun replacing it. It was a cool windy evening. The swaying of trees and rustling of leaves could be heard but not be seen as darkness has started replacing light and blurring the whole view. Whole area was incensed with aroma of flowers who seems to whisper like a street full of people saying ssshhhhhh together. The whole atmosphere is filled with birds chirping, as they have done their duty and has started returning home.
Among all this, there was a bird named tiya, flying with her compeers. They were all tweeting, twittering, whistling, singing in chorus their treasured dawn song. They were about to reach their colony when suddenly they heard some thunderous sounds. It was coming from bushes. Then they saw a man with a gun and net traps. Seeing this they all got panicked and horrified and started rushing here and there. In all this hustle Tiya got lost and started crying and screaming for help. Fear has blurred her vision and she dashed herself to a tree and fell down. The man took her and put her in cage inside car and left. She started screaming louder but there was no one to hear or understand her. She kept yelling and screeching with helplessness as she is witnessing her home going away from her.

Days have passed inside cage. She is missing badly, her home, her friends, her family. She spends whole day thinking and dreaming, what all she will do when she will meet them. She gets terrified by mere thinking that she will die without seeing her loved once again in her life. She is yearning to go home, to hear her mother’s voice one last time, to sleep on her lap and hug her tightly that will take away all her fears and make her feel safe and comfortable. Hoping to see her dad again, so that she can grasp his arm and kiss on his forehead. Missing all those happy moments that she had with her friends. It all looks like a yesterday’s thing, when they all were around, laughing on stupid nonsense things for hours, giggling, chattering, flying freely as wind till the sun shines, and then returning back home in evening.

Her world comes shattering down with every day. At times she wonder why no one has come for help. Has everyone really forgotten her? Is she no more a part of their life? Where are all those who promised to keep her safe and be there all through her life. Sometimes out of distress she blames herself thinking it was all her fault. She starts imagining what all she would have done in that situation. It would have never happened if she would have stayed stronger. May be it’s all her fault and she has earned this fate for herself. Now its an everyday story, get up, fight to break bars of prison and then again get back to sleep with disappointment. She has started feeling herself as a lost cause. Slowly she has stopped fighting, her tears has began drying up. She has given up all her hopes. Sometimes she thought of putting an end to all this by killing herself, thinking that may be that’s the best way to end all her pain and sufferings. But then the slightest hope of seeing loved once again, stops her every time from doing this. She starts remembering what all her mother taught, be strong and hang on.

At times she wonders why is she feeling so miserable. She has to believe that if she has survived this one she will survive anything that will come on her way.She has stood strong for so long then why is she giving up now. Her greatest fears have already been realized, and now she has nothing to loose. Then what it is that’s holding her back. May be its not the physical cage but the imaginary prison that is breaking her down. Its not the darkness outside but the darkness inside that is making her irresolute and weak. Its not her present condition that is frightening her but her thoughts and insecurities about future that is crippling her. Its the worries of future and not the present problems that is holding her back.

She has started realizing that its no more a fight to break the prison. Instead, it has turned a fight with herself. Her own thoughts are her biggest enemies. They are the ones that has power to stops her. She has decided that she should not let darkness fades her belief. The sun will shine again. She will again glide like a free bird. She will hang on and never give up. Her journey will go on till she makes it. She has understood that if you “really” wants to fly then you have to give up things that weigh you down.

Now, everyday sunrise brings new hope to her and with ever sunset she thinks of better tomorrow. She has found an island of ease in her troubled, messed up life. She may not be able to break the materialistic prison but she has set herself free from her own prison. By losing everything she has discovered herself. She has found her voice inside closed bars and is no longer afraid to use it. She might get older and life may fades, but will never loose her determination and desire to survive.

She will keep singing, keep shouting, keep fighting with the hope that one day she will be set free :)

कुछ पाना है , कुछ कर दिखाना है 

          आसमां का रुख बदल के दिखाओ 

          ज़मीन को आसमां से मिला के दिखाओ 

          कुछ करना है तो दुनिया बदल के दिखाओ 

    

                                       वतन पर मर मिटने वाला ही सिर्फ देश प्रेमी नही होता 

                                       देश  प्रेम दिखाना  है तो देश को बदल के दिखाओ 

                                       कुछ करना है तो देश को बेहतर बना के बताओ 

          हर  वक्त जन्म लेते हैं  सैकड़ों  लोग  इस  धरा  पे 

         लेकिन  हर  कोई  अब्दुल  और  कल्पना  की तरह  आसमां  नही  छूता 

         लोग  जीते  हैं  और फिर मर जाते हैं 

         लेकिन  किसी  का  कोई  नामोनिशां  नही  होता 

                                     आये तो बहुत से  इस जहाँ  पे  और  फिर  चले  गए 

                                     लेकिन  हर  कोई  लेनिन  और  गांधी  की  तरह  महान  नहीं  होता  | 

          अगर  हमें  भी  इनकी  तरह  महान  बनना  है  तो 

          देश  के  लिए  कुछ  बेहतर  कर  दिखाना  होगा 

          और  अमेरिका  और  रूस  की टक्कर  में  इसे  भी  पहुँचाना  होगा 

                                      हज़ारों  की इस भीड़ में असली  खिलाडी  वही  कहलायेगा 

                                      जो बिना थमे  बिना  रुके  आसमां  को छूके  दिखायेगा  ॥


(Poem written by me when I was at eighth standard)

Live, Love and Let go.....

Recently I came across some articles which says “A boy threw acid on a girl because she refused to marry him”, “ a girl commits suicide over failed love” and few more on similar lines... 

Seriously what’s wrong with us. Why people are taking it all wrongly. With all due respect to all those people, but do we really know what true love is all about. Why its so hard for us to accept the fact that the other person can not reciprocate what we feel about them. Why its so difficult to handle rejections, why we always take it on ourselves and in worst case made it as a question on our ego.

I think may be because we have got this whole concept of love wrongly. Its not completely our fault. We are thinking exactly what Bollywood taught us for all these years. A boy sees girl and the girl sees boy, they fall in love with each other, then they had some tough time, and then the story ends with boy and girl staying together, together ever after.

It never taught us what to do if we remove some hypothetical situations and give these stories some twists and little reality check. What if girl falls in love with boy but boy doesn’t or vice-versa. Ooops, now what to do. What are we supposed to do now. Sad but true, No one ever taught about this. This wasn't meant to be. So how we deal with it…..

  

Should we go typical bollywood style “ Tum Meri ho, sirf meri aur mai Tumhe kisi aur ki hone ni dunga….”. Hmmmm, looks like thats the answer. So go torture that person to hell, make him/her suffer for just saying “NO” to you, make him/her feel guilty to be friend with you or in worst case throw acid on her or kill her. Surely its the right way of dealing with your pain, you are doing the right thing. That person really deserves this, how can he/she say “NO" to the “PERFECT YOU”. 

Or should we think of ourself as a loser. Start hating ourself and our life. Get ourself into depression, stop working, stop progressing and stop talking to all our loved ones….our friends, family almost everyone. Obviously how can we talk, we can’t. That’s not right. That’s not what true love means. Just because “one person” stops contacting ,we should not talk to anyone in this world.  We don’t deserve anything, we got turned down and hence we are worthless, incapable fool. We are nothing, and the best way to end this pain and suffering is to end this life, so there you go…

But seriously is this what love is all about. I heard love is what makes you strong and gives you strength to cross oceans, wings to fly like free bird and touch the sky. Since when it has started making you weak. Shouldn’t it be the feeling that gives u courage and strength to deal with any situation in life, literally any….if you are truly in love with someone should’t you be able to deal with this one also. Isn’t love about that selfless feeling which is unforced and unconditional. Since when it has becoming so demanding. Isn’t it about the feeling that makes you love life more, helps you to grow and makes you a better person every single day.

Surely its hurting and left you heart broken when you can not be with someone whom you loved larger than life. But then its okay. There is nothing wrong in shedding some tears, but something seriously wrong if you can not overcome it. May be things are destined to be like this. May be god wants to end your story a little differently.  

There is nothing wrong in being “rejected”. Its just other person doesn’t feel the way you felt about him/her, that’s it. No ones fault, not him/hers and not yours. I think the first thing we need to do is to tell ourself that "its okay not to be okay”. Its okay to accept the fact that things didn’t turn out the way we want and it will never going to change. We don't always get what we want but we will always get what we need. We need to tell our crying cribbing heart that things are going to be fine soon. It will soon find new light and new life.

Its not the end of your world. There is more to life. Give time to things to settle up and most importantly give time to yourself. Hang on and stay strong. Be patient with the immature you. People say that fall in love with the person who will never leave you, so first fall in love with yourself. Learn to enjoy your own company. Until you get comfortable with being alone, you will never know if you are choosing someone out of love or loneliness.Appreciate and admire every little thing that you have and want to hear from others. Be the person that you have always wanted to be. Be your own hero. If its not the pictured perfect life , then write your own new story. 

In the end live, love and let go…….

 Story of a bird:

 It's the story of a bird who just came to this world, learning, exploring and enjoying every moment of her life. A bird  who doesn’t know the difference between happiness and sadness, don’t know what is winning and what is losing,  never gave a damn about emotions, feelings, sentiments…..For her life is all about living, loving and caring, doing  what her heart wants to do….

 But one fine day which seemed to be like a usual day though it was not, a storm came and everything changed  after that. Its like after light comes darkness…..never realized how life can change in seconds. For some time she  didn’t believe, thought its just an incidence in life and soon everything will come back to normal, soon she will be  the one who she was before.But that never happened. Life has different plans for her. Darkness has started taking  place in her life. All those happy feelings are now gone. Fear has taken place in her heart. Fear of  being abandoned, fear of being left alone, fear of being rejected, fear of not being able to make it through her life,  fear of losing herself, fear of losing loved ones who will fly away like other free birds to never return…..

 Every single day she struggles to find meaning of her life, to find why she is still breathing and then force herself  that she can not give up so easily, thats surely not the kind of person she is, she still has reasons to survive,  though some doesn’t seems to make much sense to her. Every single day she struggles with herself, trying to  understand her inner chaos, her inner tussle, give herself some reasons to smile but soon it all goes away.  Sometimes, she thought of giving it up all and end all this for ever. 

 But…every day she try to be little bit stronger, try to hear her silent screams, her unheard voice, to understand  inner frustration, to cry out loud hoping to get some peace but nth seems to work anymore. Every night trying to  get sleep hoping that tomorrow will be a better day but turns out to be same or worst. It has become a routine now,  getting up every morning through all this mess and putting smile on her face hoping that one day she will get  stronger. Wiping her dry tears which is not comforting anymore, trying to ignore hurt by turing on radio and playing  stupid song. Faking and fooling herself every single day that she will be ok. 

 It has become a habit now….all those blurred lines have started making sense to her. Now she realized that all  those unanswered questions are better left to be unsolved. May be things are meant to be like this. May be this is  what we all call life. You may meet people who will stay with you forever or leave you without looking back.Its  about getting something, losing other, smiling at one point crying for other, loving someone who can’t love you  back, leaving someone who loves you like no one ever will, hurting someone getting hurt by other, dreaming things  which can never come true, getting things which you never dreamt about....

 In her quest to search for inner peace she has find the true meaning of life. She has discovered that nothing stays  for long.  Everything has an entry and exit plan.There is no such thing called inner peace or true happiness. May  be its the chaos that keeps us alive. Its the pain that makes us fight for smile. It our fears that makes us realize our  strength. She learned that there is no such thing called problem, never was and will never be…She has accepted  life with open arms and understood that she has to live and let go….

 As someone rightly said: "“If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer;  even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever.”